..once upon a thought on a bench

Have you ever been told to bottle your emotions when you were already done popping cork off,  for a later date? How do you put the cork back?

Have you had to cry your heart out because there was no one else to pour out those emotions to?

Have you ever thought something out so well it went south? Planned a fairy tale trip in your head only for what the eyes can see to actualize into something totally different?

Dreams.. Sometimes I think they are the results of our illusions.. I don’t know what..

Sometimes I wish I lived in my dreams (except for when I have nightmares) .. Smiling, cutting cakes, holding hands, beach walking.. Then I wake up to the reality.. Myself and my two pillows.

wondering, where am I?

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Buy It Now! Thrift glam finds under 50ghc!

When I started Duafethriftfinds, I had no idea what the response could be. I was amazed when my first sale sold out under 2hrs!

It seems that there is quite a revolution in online thrifting in Ghana. Getting into a sweaty mess on weekends just so I can find beautiful pieces of clothing at the lowest of prices was worth it. A beautiful prance. A treasure hunt. Whatever you want to call it, I’m just trying to get clothes at the lowest prices I can find.

I always knew fashion played a role in this messy life of mine. When I put together pieces of clothing and they synchronize, I’m like ‘giiiiiirrrl’ you’re it! Sometimes the matchy-matchy I do in my imagination backfires but that’s also part of the fun of thrift life. I believe that even though fashion doesn’t cure my health issues or fix all or any of my problems at all (even though my inner self tells me it does sometimes. lol) … it lightens my mood and lifts my spirit a little more to get  me through the day, sometimes till the next day. I for one, I find peace in dressing up. It’s funny but that’s my reality.

Sometimes that’s all we need when it feels like the whole world is crashing down… A pretty outfit you didn’t have to pull out nose hairs to buy and an empty smile.

So with my love for finding fashion treasures and with the help of my amazing sisters, I decided to let the world in on my treasure island. At a little cost of course, I set up @duafethriftfinds on Instagram. The feedback has been amazing. Girls get to glam up at almost no cost at all, and I get to do well, the dirty work, or what I already enjoy doing to get it to them, corner roaming. I enjoy it, it’s almost like no work at all for me. I pick out stuff I would wear myself so every piece is carefully thought out before finding its way  into our shopping bag!

When my sisters say to me, ‘you know even if your outfit is not a thrift find people will assume it is’, I tell them, as long as I’m looking nice I’m good!

And thank you to my main pillar from the word go, my creative director from my University internship, Kojo Blebu, who gave me guidance at no cost at all.

Follow @passiboo on Instagram to see how I style my thrift finds from here on.

UnknownoSHOP THE LOOK!

Dress, slipper, bag : Duafethriftfinds

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High low top: Duafethriftfinds 

Follow @duafethriftfinds on Instagram.

Pinned to A Rock at Sea

You know what it is like to feel like you’re sinking in a tide and can’t swim to any shore and there’s absolutely no help from anywhere whatsoever?.
To have thought your life was all perfect and going smooth till it hits a large rock.. water penetrates your ship, everyone on board with you gets into life boats and save themselves.. but it’s your ship and you can’t leave it.. so after everyone is gone and you’re all alone, your only refuge is yourself, your own self.. no one to talk to.. no one to listen to you.. all who would have listened to you want you to be perfect.. they expect you to never hit a rock .. just keep moving like an automated robot..
I played myself.. gave too much of myself out, leaving nothing for me.. I feel empty.. so many times I feel it’s time to end this thing called life.. nothing seems to be working, nothing.. but who do I talk to? Who’ll listen to me without being judgmental? I’ve spent my whole life caring about everyone but me, taking care of everyone but me, putting my feelings aside just so I wouldn’t hurt people.. just so those people would be happy.. have I cared about me? Absolutely not!..
Have you loved someone and they don’t reciprocate? Not even try, no effort, just play with your emotions because you’re vulnerable.. taking advantage of your weak heart.. 
You swim so far away from this shark because you think you’ve watched its circling and have timed its speed per second and all.. you dive with a head start full of life only for it to catch up with you.. this is the routine for the whole time you’re on your safe rock in the sea.. it is hard for you because it lives in the water, it knows the water, you don’t.. you only have your instincts and your waterproof timer watch..  
Alone with my thoughts at sea..

His magic wand.. Dawn’s ‘not so little’ secrets

The kind of stories I hear from my male friends about what they go through with ladies always crack me up. Most of the time, my thoughts are, “Can’t young ladies be a little creative with their lies?” That is not to suggest that I’m creative with my lies or will be when I find myself in their shoes. Very tight shoes those are, I must confess. So to you guys crushing on me, don’t worry, I tell no lies. Well… I… never mind. I’m not the main character of the story here.

So here goes….

I was in bed dreading work on Monday morning when my phone started ringing at 4am. Yes, frigging 4am! Clearly whoever was calling was the devil’s intern. Because why would any sane person call at 4am if he didn’t have witchcraft tendencies? I was so mad at myself for keeping my phone so close to my pillow. Sheesh! I had to pretend the phone was ringing in my dream to keep myself from waking up but no, it looked like the caller really wanted to be my alarm that morning. I woke up to find it was my friend so I picked up.      

Him: “Are you sleeping?”                                                                                                                                                                             

Me: “No, I’m on my farm harvesting my crops!”

What else should I be doing at 4am? Clearing traffic in the skies for the witches returning home?

He goes straight to why he called as if I wasn’t sounding sleepy enough.

He had called his girlfriend to find out where she was. She told him she was sleeping out at a hotel that night because she was bored and wanted to be away from her hostel. I immediately rose from whatever half sleep I was in and sat on my bed. “What? You believed that, young man? I thought to myself.

Of course he did. To the point that when she is bored and wants to be away from her hostel, his house and him are not even enough to cheer her up? Okay, okay young man. 

Then she picked up a fight from nowhere and hang up on him. At this point I could not control my laughter but I had to listen to the whole story so I shut it.

Young man went out with his friends and thought about what his girlfriend had told him over the phone. The whole night out, he was in deep thought. He called his girl from time to time to apologize, in a quest to get things back to normal. Obviously she was still mad at him for reasons only known to her. On his way back home around 3:45am, he decided to swing by her hostel because his thoughts were still not clear on what had happened. Young detective had to work based on his instincts now. Young man walking around at dawn like he is a single-spine earning policeman. Hmm.

He got to the hostel, parked outside instead of driving in like he always does. With his chest held high, he walked in so no one would notice he was around.

He got to the door and the key to the room was in the key hole outside. Okay so he thought, maybe, just maybe she left her key with a friend who shared a room with others but wanted to get her ‘jiggy on’ tonight. I had to talk now because he seemed to be drowned in love and needed to be slapped back to reality. So I said “Probably she has given one of her room keys to someone who comes to visit her at dawn for dawn prayers.” Now I could not control my laughter anymore. Young man! Wake up! Even I was sleeping and I am wide awake now! 

 

So he goes on… He stood there for close to thirty minutes and finally decided to open the door. Right in front of him was his girlfriend. The girl who was mad at him. The girl who said she was not in her hostel but was in hotel room. There she was under a young man moaning and sweating her supposed anger away. My friend almost cried considering how he trusted her. The man who was enjoying the fruit of someone’s labour got dressed and vanished in a matter of seconds. Now our girlfriend. She leaped out of her bed, wore her skirt and what came out of her mouth was “It was a sex scene from a movie on the television”. All this while she was fixing the television. 

At this point I could not control my laughter anymore. Young man! You were there listening to all this? This? Looks like it. A scene from a movie without a crew and directors around? The movie was being shot by spirits?

He told her to leave him alone and continue whatever he had started with the young man. He walked to his car and drove off leaving her in tears. She has been calling and sending messages about how she will grow to be a better person for him. Now I have to think of what to do about all this since it won’t be long before she contacts me to beg him for her. But I have to be on the fence till I fall, Humpty Dumpty style.

 

Moral of the story?

Never get yourself into a relationship if you are not funny enough to cheer her up with your magic wand at dawn.

Pineapple head: my sweet bun 

It’s been a long time coming! I can finally tie my hair in a bun without the stocking struggle. I’ll let you in on that. Well I’m sure every naturalista knows this little trick of using a stocking as a ribbon. If you didn’t, then there you go. Buy a stocking, cut the legs out and ‘voila’ You have two hair bands. 

Here’s how I made it work before my sweet pineapple head got ripe.. Hahaha.. 

 

I place the stocking on my forehead holding both ends. I tie a knot behind my head and bring the ends all the way to my forehead again and tie another knot till I feel how tight I want it. Then I push the whole stocking all the way up till it looks like I have a bun. You thought I had my hair mojo on before right? Hahaha just mere tricks..

The sweet pineapple                                   I couldn’t believe myself when after washing and combing my hair I pulled it and saw the growth. I almost jumped for joy! It’s been a long time coming. I twisted my hair and went to bed a happy natural girl. I woke up the next morning, got the twists out, combed from my scalp all the way up and left the tips mushy for the pineapple look.. 

 

  

  

Still my stocking band but I have it all the way up like I would have with a hair bun. Yaaaaaay! I can tie a full bun. My hair is of age. HA! Who says that? Me I guess. 

Moisturizing twice daily really does help! One day at a time! Keep calm and watch your hair grow!  

My hair, My other Half

It’s been over a year since I cut my perm to start my natural hair journey. I’ve loved every bit of the journey. Who am I kidding? There used to be days I had doubts about keeping it when I didn’t know what to do to it. I would just wake up, finger comb it and walk out feeling really down. Then out of nowhere people give me compliments like ‘I love your hair! Work it girl!’. I play along and act as if I styled it that way. *laughs. But it’s been a good journey. I could only leave my hair on for two weeks tops and I’m back to protective styling with Marley braids.

I started the journey with corn rows till my hair dresser couldn’t handle my hair in that style no more. I felt down all over again because if I decided to leave my own hair own, I couldn’t control it.

Then I resorted to asking sisters who were already in the natural hair game questions about how they kept their hair on. Trust me, everyone has their own methods and products. I stopped asking because I realized each one of them used a product that was suitable for them. I bought Shea butter, hair conditioner, hair shampoo and castor oil for a start. I was so excited walking home with my new hair products. I recycled my mother’s body splash container and used it as my spray water bottle with a mixture of water, a little bit of conditioner and drops of castor oil in there. I use that to moisturizer my hair every morning and evening. It gets me hair soft so I can comb without worry. Ha! Now I can do anything with my hair.

I watched (still do), YouTube tutorials on how to style natural short hair. I try to do what I learn on weekends in my room. If it fails, I take it out and go to the salon. Hahaha! I got twists from the salon last time I went with my friend because she said it will look good on me so I should try it.

There you go. I felt like I got my natural hair mojo on! Whoa!

After my twists, I felt I could do anything with my hair. And I mean anything! Here are some styles I’ve done by myself in front of my mirror with Dark and Lovely Twist & Lock Gel.

  

Flat Twist outs

Before and after of a flat twist out

So go ahead and do what ever you want to do with your hair girl! Natural hair doesn’t identify you as nothing the world says. Just be you and work your hair!   

‘Secure a buff tin and ghost’ or you’re ghost

It was one fine Saturday after a stressful and sleepless Friday night when I went to work after my company’s big event. I could only manage two hours of sleep maybe because I was too tired and was thinking about the mess created after the event that had to be cleaned. The weather turned cloudy all of a sudden and I quickly rushed to clean up and go back to the workplace to pack the cushions from the cabanas and carpets that could be damaged by rain. The rain started the very minute I put the last cushion on the stack. Whew! I had to wait till the rain stopped. A colleague from work was going my way so I joined him in his car when the rain stopped to pick up an order and pay for it.

We set off laughing about the previous night and enjoyed music from the radio. We got into a bit of traffic and the conversation died down. I took out my iPhone 5s gold from my bag, logged into my twitter app and was catching up on tweets I had missed all day. I didn’t even go past two tweets and in a blink of an eye my phone was no longer in my hand. I had the shock of my life. A young man came from behind me and snatched the phone from my hand and sped off immediately. I screamed, Nabil! The name of my colleague I was driving with. He immediately made a sharp turned and chased the young man who was fast on his heels running away with my phone in his grip. I still couldn’t believe all this was happening. I poked my head out of the window and was screaming ‘)y3 kr)mfo)’ meaning he’s a thief in Twi. A young man heard me, looked at my face and continued walking on. Obviously he wasn’t prepared to be the superman I was hoping he would be. The chase continued and I was still screaming on top of my voice and voila, two young men ahead of us when we almost hit a dead end with the car intercepted the thief, gave him a ‘lower cut’, and he fell to the ground with my phone. Nabil, immediately parked the car, got out and SLAPPED the life out of the young fellow. I got out of the car and picked up my phone from the ground with all it’s ‘bruises’ from the fall.

I put the phone in my bag as fast as I could and put the bag in the car. Out of nowhere there were lots of people wielding sticks and stones ready to beat the life out of the young man. Someone even appeared on the scene with a car tyre and kerosene. Nabil picked up the young man and told me we should send him to the police station. The young thief looked at the angry crowd who were ever ready to beat the life out of him, maybe escort him to Heaven, *laughs*, looks at me and says ‘Madam please take me to the police station’. With the help of the two gentlemen, we put him in the car and took him to the police station. I didn’t know thieves feared death.

The ride to the police station was a quiet one till the young man without any of us questioning him started talking about how he is an orphan and had to resort to stealing. I told him to keep quiet because I had a headache from all the shouting he made me do and being an orphan is not enough reason to resort to stealing. We tuned in to a radio show and we all had some laughs but him, till we arrived at the police station. “All this while my heart was beating faster than a mouse being chased my a hungry cat”.

Immediately the police saw how tattered his clothes were and the bruises on his body, they asked us what was wrong and Nabil gave them a summary of what happened because I still was in shock. They put him behind bars and asked me to sit so I could write my statement. In this era of ‘dumsor’ in Ghana, the lights were off as usual. Yes! At the police station. I turned on the torchlight on the phone we had retrieved from the thief for the police to search for a statement form to write my statement. I was completely out of shock , *laughs*, the reality of being Ghanaian dawned on me.        I wrote my statement in minutes and the young man was called for questioning. He claimed to be 15years because obviously he didn’t want to be sent to adult prison. I looked at him and shook my head. The police asked him to take of his clothes and I went back into shock! The young man had two shirts on. He was prepared for whatever he had planned that evening, steal the phone, bolt, take off one shirt when he’s out of sight and walk on like nothing happened. Then he started taking off a ring that was on his finger with the fastest of speeds. The police man saw him and quickly identified the ring as an ‘ invisible ring’ that these thieves use now in their  ‘operations ‘. I almost laughed and in my head I was thinking ‘ so the young man after snatching the phone and took to his heels thought he couldn’t be seen till he was tripped?’. Jokes. The CID in charge put him behind bars and asked me to leave money to buy food for the thief. Another shocker right? right? I looked into my purse and gave her 20ghc. She told me they’ll call me when the case is processed and court date is known and that my phone is evidence now. I ‘sorted’  two young men who helped catch the thief and dropped them off at a junction close to where the incident happened.

I left with my colleague to pick up the order I set out to pick up before all this happened. I have always read tweets like “secure a buff tin and ghost’ which I was told meant get a beautiful/handsome partner and leave twitter. This young man took it literally with his invisible ring. *laughs* He secured my buff iPhone 5s gold from my hand and was literally ghosting because of his ring. Ha! I picked up the order, went to a restaurant to buy myself a large pizza to celebrate whoever the magician was that sold the ring to the young man and retired to bed.

The moral of the story? Don’t accept lifts from cars that have no working air conditioning system. *Laughs*